Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Blue Days

The last month has been ridiculous hard. I've had some horrible reactions so some medications. I had no idea that a medicine could make you think that you hate your life, or that your family would be better off without you or make you feel like your chest is being crushed with anxiety and stress. I felt so sad, anxious and scared that I shut myself in my house for a month. I didn't return anyone's calls, neglected appointments, and hid from everyone. All of this was so the opposite of the way I normally feel, even considering our extreme circumstances. Still it took a long time to realize that what was happening was abnormal and even then, I couldn't quit the medication straight away and had to taper off. I'm so grateful for the amazing man that is my husband who loved me through it all, my wonderful patient friends, and my forgiving family. I'm also blessed with an awesome team of doctors. Finally, I'm feeling like myself again!! My wonderful family put together a "cheer up" package that actually made me cry when I got it. Ironic, I know but they were happy tears!

On a good note, track is over! Hiking around all the field events was killer. I didn't have my wheel chair yet so I had to do it on my crutches. Even if I had my chair, it is so hard to use on grass that it would have been almost obsolete without someone to push me. Still, I survived the season and my little track star did great!

PS I also finished my first mile in my chair yesterday. It is 10X harder than I thought it would be but I DID IT!! 

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